Did you ever stop and wonder, why?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box?

Why people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why people say they “slept like a baby”, when babies normally wake up every two hours?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

What would the speed of lightning be if it didn’t zigzag?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?  read more »



NASA sends Blonde to space.

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two monkeys and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first monkey and asks, "Monkey #1, do you know your mission?"

The monkey replies, "ooah ooah!. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. ooah ooah!"

Then NASA Control asks the second monkey, "Monkey #2, do you know your mission?"

The second monkey replies, "ooah ooah! Once Monkey #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. ooah ooah!"  read more »



20 Phrases you wish you could say at work more often

1. No, my powers can only be used for good.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

5. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.  read more »



Blonde Alternative to Cell Phone

Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?"

Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?"

Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."



Blonde Geek

A blonde was telling a brunette that her computer broke.

So the brunette said she would check the blonde's e-mail for her.

The blonde said, ''Cool! E-mail me and tell me what I got.''



Blonde lumberjack

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.

"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.

She came back sweating like a pig. ''Christ, how many trees did you cut down?'' asked the foreman.

''6'' she replied.  read more »



Most boring Book

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.

A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring.

It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."

The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"



Ice Fishing

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.  read more »



Blonde on Fire

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"



Cruise Only for $5

A blonde sees a posting on a bulletin board that says, "Cruise Only for $5."

She goes to the address on the back and hands the receptionist $5. The receptionist nods to a burly man reading a newspaper. He walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious.

The blonde wakes up tied to a log floating down river. To her right, she sees one of her blonde friends. "Do you think they're going to serve food on this trip?" she asks.

The other blonde replies, "They didn't last year."

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