Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."-

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

I'm not anti-social, I just don't like you"

"We are all going to hell, and I am driving the bus"

"You shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more screwed up than you think."

If it doesn't fit force it, if it breaks it needed replaced anyway*

"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."

"I don't want to achieve immortality thru my work. I want to achieve immortality thru not dying"