Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before
cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".

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Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm Not going to do that!"

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

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I took this call in a cellular phone call center.
Caller: I can't make outbound calls on my cell phone.
Rep: Do you have the phone with you?
Caller: Yes, I'm talking on it right now.
Rep: The phone is working just fine. You just called me.
The embarrassed caller quickly hung up.

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I've had some really strange ones myself, i cant think of the best ones now! this one amused me afterwards but gave me such a headache because she shouted so much i had to take a smoke break...

i had this woman ring up... After being as nice is as physically possible when someone is shouting at you, I kindly asked her to please lower her voice. She repeatedly told me that the call centre had given her nothing but hassle and then shouted "is it because im black?"... after assuring her the company does not practice racial discrimination... i thought to myself... shes on the phone... how would she expect me to know anyway... i cant see her...

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CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(oohhh... now I get it!!!)

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