Let's face it - English is a crazy language. Â
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do peopleÂ
→ Ship by truck andÂ
→ Send cargo by ship?Â
→ Have noses that run andÂ
→ feet that smell?Â
→ How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same whileÂ
→ a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
→ Recite at a play andÂ
→ Play at a recital?Â
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in whichÂ
→ Your house can burn up as it burns down,Â
→ You fill in a form by filling it out, andÂ
→ An alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why,Â
→ when the stars are out, they are visible, butÂ
→ when the lights are out, they are invisible.Â
→ There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;Â
→ neither pine nor apple in pineapple. Â
→ English muffins weren't invented in England orÂ
→ French fries in France.Â
→ Sweetmeats are confectionery whileÂ
→ sweetbreads, which aren't sweet and contain no bread, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find thatÂ
→ Quicksand can work slowly,Â
→ Boxing rings are square andÂ
And why is it thatÂ
 → Writers write but fingers don't fing,Â
→ Grocers don't groce andÂ
→ Hammers don't ham?Â
→ If the plural of tooth is teeth,Â
→ why isn't the plural of booth beeth?Â
→ One goose, two geese,  Â
→ So one moose, two meese?Â
→ One index, two indices? (hey, but that's Latin not English)Â
Doesn't it seem crazy thatÂ
→ you can make amends butÂ
→ not one amend.Â
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
→ If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?Â
→ If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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