Sarcastic Insults



Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - your face.

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

Well, they do say opposites attract...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Lights on, door open, nobody at home.

About as subtle as a flying brick.

She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.

About as interesting as watching paint dry.

I've seen better looking bodies at a scrapyard.

I've seen better hands on a clock.

As nervous as a turkey at Christmas.

She's as fit as a butcher's dog.

She's got a face squeezed like a squeezed tea bag.

His nose is snottier than a frog in a blender.

About as useless as a jam sandwich to a drowning rabbit.

A legend in his own mind...

He's an expert on padded cells.

He couldn't engineer his way outta paper bag!


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