Sarcastic Quotes

  • You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
  • Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
  • Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
  • Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
  • If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse!
  • This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
  • I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  • When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
  • A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
  • Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
  • Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
  • Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
  • Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.
  • Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
  • Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
  • He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
  • I bet you get bullied a lot.
  • I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
  • I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
  • I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
  • I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
  • I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
  • I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
  • I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
  • I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
  • I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
  • I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.
  • If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.
  • I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
  • I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
  • I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
  • Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
  • People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
  • She's the first in her family born without tail.
  • That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  • There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
  • What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
  • Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
  • What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
  • You are not even beneath my contempt.
  • You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
  • You grow on people, but so does cancer.
  • You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
  • You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
  • You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
  • Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.
  • You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

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I have some good ones.

It's alright. I havent listened to a word you've said since the day I met you.
Believe me, when I insulted you, it was completely intentional.



no,i've been searching for a FAKE job that'll pay me FAKE money,to pay all my FAKE bills off,so when i retire,i can move to a FAKE retiree home in florida...

i think were at that point

i think were at that point of our friendship where we should act like we dont have one

I used to be pro-life until

I used to be pro-life until I met you.


These Quotes are dangerous!!!!!!!!!!!
And can easily cause you to LAUGH to DEATH....

Only You Can Provide....!!!

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence

one more.

Looking at you, I can already tell that 10% of the time, you're right every time.

The above quotes are very

The above quotes are very useful. The people should remember the quotes in every stage of their life. Nice post.


could this BE any funnier??!

Humanbeings are born equal

Let us not demoralize people using sarcastic speechs rather let us teach them to be better we should know that individual differences are assets!

From: Post graduate student in Addis Ababa University Special Needs Education Department

Dont piss me off...!! i

Dont piss me off...!! i running out of places to hide bodies..

This is actually funny. But

This is actually funny. But it's more of an insult than a 'joke'
To me, it sounds more blunt and only a very dumb person would not know it's a sarcasm.
and those who are smart enough would already know someone's insulting them
I'd like to give you a suggestion, can you think of putting more of 'humor' than the sad truth the sarcastic person is trying to say?
I still love the jokes you have on this website!
Just keep improving and add more jokes!

love it

I don't lie. Even if i do sometimes withhold information.


Reading made me laugh really hard on a rather boring day.


nice collection!!!

herez another......

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

"when i look at u..i

"when i look at u..i feel..."million years of human evolution wz such a waste.."


sarcasm helps you keep from telling people what you really think of them.


How many haterz does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 to "screw" it in. 1 to hate on the one screwing it. and 1 to stop the bulb from shining. - K-checK

Excuse Me

Excuse Me, please don't interupt me while im IGNORING YOU!


i like the blondes are not stupid convention it is funny..


DUDE thats what i dont piss me off coz i've got some more cannonballs

Nice ones! Definitely the

Nice ones! Definitely the best I've found so far....


One of the best collection of sarcastic quotes I've seen.
Great going!


im feeling really chuffed today, i took my mother-in-law out last night, & it only took 1 punch!

how is it that youve managed

how is it that youve managed to live this long and not be demoted to a single cell organism

haha. i like it.

haha. i like it.

These Are The Funniest

These Are The Funniest Sarcastic Quotes I've Ever Read.

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