Marriage Short Jokes

  • Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

  • Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
    - The Engagement Ring
    - The Wedding Ring
    - The Suffer-Ring
    - The Endue-Ring

  • Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
    - In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    - In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
    - In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

  • Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

  • There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"

  • Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

  • When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

  • There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

  • They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

  • At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

  • Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

  • A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

  • After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

  • It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

  • A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

  • When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

  • A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

  • A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

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